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The Grower’s Guide to Taking No Shit

Screen Shot 2015-01-09 at 1.47.14 PM-w650Hey there, I hope you’re doin’ great…

If you want your journey as a grower to be a successful one—low on stress and high on fun, with fat yields of sweet, potent bud—then it’s important that you don’t allow yourself or your gardens to be stepped on by…

1. Those who don’t have your best interests in mind.
2. Well-intentioned individuals who don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.
3. The myths and misconceptions that plague our industry and community to no end.
4. Unforeseen situations looking to take a big fat bite outta your ass.

That’s why I wrote this blog post for you…

…To help you avoid getting crushed under the heavy shoes of the Man, thieves, haters, and know-it-alls.

Because let’s face it, it’s hard to enjoy success when there’s a boot on your head keeping you down.

The five principles below, and the strategies contained within, will give YOU the upper hand.

lurker-w650Now, I’m gonna assume that your gardens are on the up and up, legally speaking. That said, you should still employ strict security and safety precautions, like the ones I’m going to tell you about in a moment…

The crop you’re growing is extremely valuable and there’s no shortage of crooks who’ll steal it from you if given the chance.

And it’s no secret that law enforcement officers have broken down many-a-door to perfectly legal grows. The last thing you want is a bunch of big dudes with badges waiving their guns around because they “mistakenly” didn’t know that you were licensed to grow.

And on top of that, there’s a ton of negative people and bad info out there that can hurt your grows, cost you money, and hold you back as a grower.

The strategies in this blog post can help bulletproof your success and ensure that none of this stuff affects you—or at least minimize your chances of falling prey to its clutches.

We’ll cover everything from thwarting an ambush, to heat signatures, to dealing with neighbors, and all kinds of other cool stuff.

Five Strategies to Taking No Shit…

ref-w6501. Cultivate Wisdom

To keep from getting sucked into myth, misguided rhetoric, and absolute horseshit, it’s important to constantly educate yourself.

Read blogs like this one and online magazines like Big Buds. Read forums, too, just don’t believe everything you read. Take it all with a grain of salt and do your own research.

Learn everything you can about growing.

And then learn some more.

It’s no secret that the most successful people in any endeavor are the ones who understand that there’s always more to learn. They NEVER think they know everything. And neither should you.

Personally, I’ve spent tens of thousands of hours digging through reference libraries and devouring every book, paper, report, and study on plant research I could get my hands on.

PH_manifesto_pages.I’ve invested a fortune on expensive research books—some costing thousands of dollars—and have accumulated a wall-to-wall library of the damn things. I tear through ‘em like they hold the secrets to the universe. And a in way, they do.

I’ve even dug up obscure cannabis research papers from Russia that were done in the 1920’s and 30’s—some as early as 1904—and had ‘em translated to English so I could study ‘em relentlessly.

I’ve spearheaded in-depth tests on cannabis at the British Columbia Institute of Technology (BCIT) and the University of Canada (UBC).

And I confidently say, I would not be the grower I am today had I not done all this.


I don’t expect you to become an OCD weirdo like myself…

I don’t expect you to spend 31 years in the trenches relentlessly searching for ways to bring marijuana to its true genetic potential, read for three to six hours a day, and hire a team of 23 PhD’s to hunt down every truth about growing marijuana there is—like I have.

But even if you do just 3% of the research I have, you’ll know more than 99% of the growers out there about how to grow the most badass buds possible.


You won’t fall ignorant to the lies perpetrated on our community everyday by trolls, wannabe growers, and hacks who don’t know their head from their ass.

Now, since true wisdom comes from experience, you’ll also need to grow your ass off. And sometimes it will suck. But it’s worth it. We’ll get more into that in #5 below.


Now son, point out the kid who stole your bike, would ya

2. Have a Strong Circle of Stand-up Friends and Associates

The world is filled with negative people who will bring you down if you let ‘em. Which is why you need to surround yourself with friends, associates, and partners who empower you. And you need to empower them as well. You need to forge strong, win/win relationships with thef right kinda folk.

Let’s face it, without good people in your life, true success is not only impossible but, in my opinion, wouldn’t even be worth achieving.

Life is about people.

If it weren’t for others, I’d have given up on growing a long time ago. It’s been said, by better men than I, that you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with, and that’s been my experience as well.

Who you choose to surround yourself with can make or break your future success, so surround yourself with the right people.

And remember, the people you attract into your life are mirror images of different aspects of your personality.

So if you’re around a bunch of crooked, whiny, negative a-holes, then there are parts of yourself you need to address, like pronto. There’s a reason these people are in your life.

Now, if you wanna attract good people who will support you on your journey, BE the kind of person you want attract.

Start friendships off with the giving hand. Help others. Lift ‘em up. Be supportive. Act with integrity and character. If that’s how you roll, then that’s who you’ll attract. Period.

headgood-w6503. Use Your Noggin

Don’t want your doors kicked in?

Don’t wanna get ripped off?

Then be smart.

This includes…

Being a good neighbor

Whenever I’d move into a new location, one of the first things I did was go around and introduce myself to the neighbors. I mean, let’s face it, people are curious, cautious, and protective of their domains.


Greet ‘em with a friendly smile. It’ll ease their anxiety. Nine out of ten times they’ll ask a few simple questions, like:

– Where are you from?
– What do you do for a living?

…and other basic questions that allow ‘em to feel secure about who their new neighbor is.

Which is why it’s always important to have your story straight.

And remember, people take hesitation as a sign of dishonesty and insecurity. So you don’t wanna just come up with answers on the fly.

If you make a living growing weed and don’t own a legit business or have a regular job-type-job, then be prepared to explain what you do. Have your story prepared in advance.

And always, always, always be nice to your neighbors. If you’re an a-hole, it will hurt you.

A lot of growers are paranoid about their crops being discovered—I think we all are to some extent—and often times this fear is projected onto to others in the form of anger.

I mean, what better way to keep nosy neighbors out of your business than by being abrasive and standoffish, right?


Being angry might make ‘em avoid you, but it will also put you in that little mental box of theirs’ of the people they’d like to see lose in the game of life.

And what better way for ‘em to see you take a hit then to end up in the slammer, eating Top Ramen in a cell with a Bubba?

So instead of taking the abrasive, standoffish approach, make allies with your neighbors. Cultivate a team of neighbors who will have your back.

You’re growing a high value crop, aren’t you? Something thieves would love to get their hands on, right? So be smart about it and protect it.

Let’s say someone is snooping around your house…an “ally” neighbor would alert you, giving you a jump on the situation, so you can take the necessary precautions to keep yourself, and your crop, safe.

But if you’re rude and inconsiderate to your neighbors, not only are they not going to help you—because they don’t want to deal with you or even talk to you—but chances are they’d even go out of their way to cause you unnecessary trouble.

I can tell you from decades of personal experience, being cool to your neighbors is of paramount importance in this business. Don’t learn this one the hard way.

You can find more about this topic here.

Screen Shot 2015-01-09 at 2.09.52 PM-w650Now, another part of being a smart grower has to do with heat signatures…

Simply put, don’t give one off. Not unless you want the authorities to know exactly what it is you’re up to.

I’ve actually studied Forward Looking Infrared (FLIR) extensively and here’s what I can tell you…

First off, there’s a lotta companies out there selling these IR blockers. Don’t buy into it.

It’s a total waste of money and here’s why…

When a helicopter flies over your house, they can actually see the part of the house that’s warmer than the rest. The unit measures heat. And as soon as that IR blocker heats up, they can see it plain as day.

Instead, I recommend using a sealed room with an air conditioning unit going strong. No exhaust should be blowing outside since they can easily spot it.

You want your entire house to be the same temperature. If your house is 76 degrees, and your grow room is 76 degrees, then they’re not going to see any hot spots.


Because your grow room is the same temperature as the rest of the house.

And since you aren’t venting to the outside, you don’t have white-hot heat gushing out the side of your house that they can easily spot with their Forward Looking Infrared.

The key is to equalize the temperature of your house. That is your built-in infrared blocker.

What I’m saying is to be smart. Have a backstory, be cool to your neighbors, equalize the temperature in your house, and don’t get thieves or law-enforcement any reason to know what you’re up to.

4. Be Prepared For Anything

Everything discussed above will help prepare you for your success as a grower.

However, you also need to be prepared for when things go south. You’re in a risky business and shit does hit the fan from time to time. So be prepared.

Since, from the time I started growing, I knew I was going to make a career out of it, I spared no expense when it came to taking precautions and being prepared.

Screen Shot 2014-10-30 at 1.52.48 PMI enrolled in classes that taught counter-surveillance and counter-terrorism, learned how to monitor police radioactivity at the highest levels, took racecar driving and escape and evasion classes, and researched everything I could to keep my operations safe and my butt outta jail.

Now, I’m not saying you need to go the lengths I have. I mean, you probably have no interest in growing over a million plants over a span of 31 years. Like I said, I’m kind of a weirdo. I’m extreme. And I respect the fact that that may not be your thing.

However, you still need to be prepared for situations that could threaten your crops, your freedom, and your life.

In the post “The Cops Surrounded My Garden And I…” I go into the topic of being prepared at great lengths. It’s a crazy story and I urge you to read it.

But for the sake of this post, I’d like to sum-up the five principles of an attack, or thwarting an attack, for you—which I learned in my counter-terrorism class and have saved my ass on numerous occasions.

And these principles are extra-important if you happen to grow outdoors in the hills, forest, swamps, or fields.

Giant marijuana buds in closed spaceThe five principles are…

One – You need the element of surprise.
Two – You need superior firepower—I’ve never taken a firearm to any of my grows, so this one is irrelevant to me, but I wanted to share it with you anyway since it’s one of the five principles.
Three – You need superior knowledge of the terrain.
Four – You need total control of the situation.
Five – You need an escape route.

Often just one of these five will help you fend off an unsuspecting attack. However, the more of these balls you have in your court, the better.

If you’re able to take away the element of surprise, have superior knowledge of terrain, control the situation, and/or have an escape route, your chances of staying safe skyrocket.

To fully understand how these principles come into play in a real life situation, I urge you to read this post.

Like I said, it’s a crazy story and very enlightening.

Screen Shot 2015-01-09 at 1.55.49 PM-w6505. Get Back Up

The road to heavy yields of big buds isn’t always an easy one. It’s filled with obstacles, setbacks, and lessons that you may have to learn the hard way—just like I have—through lots of trial and error. But the rewards are worth it.

You’re gonna screw up.

You’re gonna fall.

You’re gonna make some messes.

You’re gonna break shit.

At times things may seem overwhelming.

There may be moments where you feel like just cashing in your chips and going home.

However, I urge you to chalk up any blunders, goof-ups or outright disasters as learning lessons. Dust yourself off, fix or adjust anything that needs it, and keep moving forward, trudging towards your dreams with the heart of a lion.

rainbow-w650The gold at the end of this rainbow is filled with tasty, sweet, sugar-coated buds that’ll blow your mind, impress the hell outta your buddies, and can earn you some damn good coin.

As long as you continue moving in the direction of your goals, there’s no such thing as failure. It doesn’t exist for you.

The only real failure is giving up on your dreams. What most people call failure, I call test results. If I’m not getting the results I want, I tweak, refine, and improve how I’m doing something, or I try a different approach. I learn from my mistakes and move on. This is what every super-successful grower I know does and I recommend you do the same.

The road ahead…

In summary: keep learning, keep testing and tweaking, be smart, educate yourself, surround yourself with good people, be prepared, and when you fall down stand right back up.

Show the world what you’re made of. Show us just how awesome of a grower you are. Let us enjoy what you grow—your sweet and delicious weed that packs a helluva punch.

I want you to succeed. Want it like a teenage boy wants to get laid.

I want you to be the best damn grower you can be. Period.

I hope you enjoyed this post and I’d love to hear your comments below.

Talk soon,
Big Mike


3 Responses to The Grower’s Guide to Taking No Shit

  1. Avatar
    Al Standridge January 15, 2015 at 3:32 pm #

    I appreciate your views. I’m 57 been a gorilla for 31 yrs. My GRANDFATHER was a moonshiner till I introduced him to Gorilla growing.My FATHER dropped me off at the prepaired sites, and picked me up when the days work was finished. Nobody sees my garden but me. Every time I’ve brought a so called friend into the operation, It failed. I agree with your thoughts about incorporating people beyond reproach into the process. It just has never been something I feel comfortable with. My age will soon force my hand.- Just a thought. In 84 I flew to Jamaica to obtain Lambs Bread seeds. The trip was successful but the following year camp landed a helicopter on my farm. It was Sept. 3. I had 640 females. there wasn’t a bag of grow soil, no vessels. no nutrients nothing. They charged me cultivating almost 2 million. I made bond in less than an hr. Told everyone I spoke to I had no knowledge of anything. Was sentenced to 6 months probation. My point is if they don’t catch you in the garden, they have no case. Big Mike the info on the info on the heat seeking was great. Thank You. Ive heard different stories even at the Amsterdam Cannabis Cup.– I am a little afraid of you even though we have much in common. I can beat the problem of heat consumtion. Would enjoy a face to face meeting. This is my passion, always has been. Kindest Regards Big Al

  2. Avatar
    Al Standridge January 15, 2015 at 3:49 pm #

    Thank You–I’ve been a Gorilla since 76. I’m 57 now. This has been my life. Thanks for enlightenment on heat seeking radar. Have heard conflicting stories even at the Amsterdam Cup. A pleasure speaking to you. Have ideas and info. that you may be interested in. Kindest Regards Big Al

  3. Avatar
    Kyle K January 18, 2015 at 3:17 am #

    I rep’d for colorado for 2 years for AN and sold millions of dollars of AN products. Sadly ee never met. I did a masters thesis in protected ag sciences and breeding. My passion is in plant sciences not sales. With that said have you ever thought of having a Colorado research center to further your products and superiority? I still only use all AN and get the best results in the state. Let me know if this idea interest you. The product out here is mostly terrible and unsmokable. More research and education closer to the market will boost sales signifigantly in the fastest growing state in the world.

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